Another sleepless night.

I stepped into this space in February 2020, and now it’s been exactly five years. The debt is still there, the account is still in the red, and there’s an indescribable sense of frustration.

Five years—not just time lost, it’s much more than that. At first, I played coin-margined contracts and lost terribly. This year, I switched to USDT-margined contracts and managed to recover a bit—ten thousand USDT, sounds okay, right? But looking at the bigger picture, the hole is still there.

Catching a good coin isn’t actually that hard. I remember those two waves with myx—I started with just one or two thousand RMB, and overnight I turned it into a hundred thousand RMB. Was it exhilarating? Of course. But then what? That string in my head snapped—I kept thinking about where the next 10x coin would be, when the next chance for sudden wealth would come. My nerves were always taut, like I was addicted.

The outcome? I don’t need to say more.

This market never lacks opportunities; what it lacks is the right timing for the sickle to harvest. All those dreams of getting rich quick, at their core, are written in blood. In real life I pinch every penny, but in the crypto space, it’s like I become a different person—throwing money around like it’s nothing.

After a bull cycle, the only thing still standing steady is Bitcoin. After all, if Bitcoin doesn’t rise, the whole space won’t take off. Sometimes I wonder, if I had just held onto a low-leverage BTC long position from the start, not over-leveraged, not constantly rolling over, would the ending have been different?

Maybe.